Dear Kristen Stewart - w4w (Your closet)
Dear Kristen Stewart,
It's high time for you to come out of that closet. You have the swagger and air of a full blown lesbian.
Those heteros may be none the wiser but us dykes have an intuitive sense of your dietary staple. You guessed it, it's VAG.
Lets face it. Your acting skills are limited, which makes me skeptical that you were acting when you looked like you wanted to jailbait bone Dakota Fanning in The Runaways.
Don't feel too bad that she's 15, she's been 35 since she was 8 years old.
If you ever need an outlet for all that repressed sexual energy, I'm here for you.
I'll lend you my shoulder, an ear, or maybe even a "come hither" finger gesture.
Don't worry - your secret is safe with me.
Same goes for you, Ellen Page.
It's high time for you to come out of that closet. You have the swagger and air of a full blown lesbian.
Those heteros may be none the wiser but us dykes have an intuitive sense of your dietary staple. You guessed it, it's VAG.
Lets face it. Your acting skills are limited, which makes me skeptical that you were acting when you looked like you wanted to jailbait bone Dakota Fanning in The Runaways.
Don't feel too bad that she's 15, she's been 35 since she was 8 years old.
If you ever need an outlet for all that repressed sexual energy, I'm here for you.
I'll lend you my shoulder, an ear, or maybe even a "come hither" finger gesture.
Don't worry - your secret is safe with me.
Same goes for you, Ellen Page.
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