Tuesday, December 29, 2009

recurring (exhibit B)

I dream of assassins and monsters
terrified until I'm angry
and then I stop running
I stop fighting
I stop trying
I give up,
hoping to die before I see my loved ones slaughtered.
Kill me quick,
I'm sick of being scared.

Maybe feeling terror in the moments before an untimely death
scares me more than death itself
because fear never dies and scars never fade
the end seems welcoming

I'd rather die at peace than clawing at my throat
or haunted by memories of  the terror and helplessness of a near-death experience
Fear of fear versus fear of death,
the kind of talk that makes friends worry.

Monday, December 28, 2009

It's not your fault
It's not your fault
It's not your fault
It's not your fault

recurring (exhibit A)

July 07

every night I dream I'm hurriedly rushing down stairs, 
preoccupied, distracted
suddenly, all my weight is on a step that isn't there
and I realize I'm going to fall, there's nothing I can do
momentum is inevitable
and I fall, 
I fall, 
I fall
helpless to gravity

helpless to these strange new feelings that confuse and frighten me

helpless to her refusal to eat, 
inches of her disappearing every day
helpless to her sunken cheeks, her dead eyes, her stubborn disease.
She won't listen to me
 or she can't hear me, killed and buried by this new frightening person that I don't recognize.
Who are you 
and what have you done to the sweet loving girl 
that I used to know?

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Monday, December 21, 2009

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Friday, December 18, 2009

feel


heart racing,
pounding at my fingertips
every nerve on fire,
every particle of my being itching for you.

under fluttering lashes,
deep inside, 
chords quiver in echo
to your laughter.



we are unusual and tragic and alive.

Thursday, December 17, 2009



Something in the way she moves,
Attracts me like no other lover.
Something in the way she woos me.
I don't want to leave her now,
You know I believe and how.

Somewhere in her smile she knows,
That I don't need no other lover.
Something in her style that shows me.
I don't want to leave her now,
You know I believe and how.

You're asking me will my love grow,
I don't know, I don't know.
Stick around, and it may show,
But I don't know, I don't know.

Something in the way she knows,
And all I have to do is think of her.
Something in the things she shows me.
I don't want to leave her now.
You know I believe and how.

winter in Montréal


The heart already knew - w4w


There's just no competition. 

I didn't think so. 

Seeing really is believing. 

Sunday, December 13, 2009



''I think we're just gonna have to be secretly in love with eatchother and leave it at that, Richie.''

Clem


Friday, December 11, 2009