recurring (exhibit A)

July 07

every night I dream I'm hurriedly rushing down stairs, 

preoccupied, distracted

suddenly, all my weight is on a step that isn't there

and I realize I'm going to fall, there's nothing I can do

momentum is inevitable

and I fall, 

I fall, 

I fall

helpless to gravity

helpless to these strange new feelings that confuse and frighten me

helpless to her refusal to eat, 

inches of her disappearing every day

helpless to her sunken cheeks, her dead eyes, her stubborn disease.

She won't listen to me

 or she can't hear me, killed and buried by this new frightening person that I don't recognize.

Who are you 

and what have you done to the sweet loving girl 

that I used to know?