recurring (exhibit C, part II)

I'm walking down the hallways and narrow staricases

fingertips ghosting over those mint and yellow walls

I'm not alone, but I might as well be.

The power goes off, leaving everything a watery blue.

I come to the top of a staircase, the one that leads to the main entrance, the glass doors. At the bottom, about twenty students are gathered around, quietly watching a teacher play guitar.

I search their faces, and hers hits mine. She sees me just as I see her. Our eyes meet like two racecars in a full-on collision. The guitar plays on, soft and sweet. I think people are talking to me, asking things of me, demanding my attention, but none of them matter. 

She sits there, arms outstretched, expecting nothing of me

She smiles, hugely, happily, and I crash into her arms.

recurring (exhibit C, part I)

I dreamt I was home again,

In your arms.

(via Lolitas)

already broken resolutions - w4w (montreal)

so much longing 

so much laughter 

be good to each other, girls. 

magnetic poetry

Chance is

To cry wolf

To seek her voice

smile

face

Hear sorrow ahead

She soothes the need

A murmur in the morning

Time without if's

Sigh

Lo-fi

(via sophisticated-simplicities)

(via sophisticated-simplicities)

via sailinghome

recurring (exhibit B)

I dream of assassins and monsters

terrified until I'm angry

and then I stop running

I stop fighting

I stop trying

I give up,

hoping to die before I see my loved ones slaughtered.

Kill me quick,

I'm sick of being scared.

Maybe feeling terror in the moments before an untimely death

scares me more than death itself

because fear never dies and scars never fade

the end seems welcoming

I'd rather die at peace than clawing at my throat

or haunted by memories of  the terror and helplessness of a near-death experience

Fear of fear versus fear of death,

the kind of talk that makes friends worry.

It's not your fault

It's not your fault

It's not your fault

It's not your fault

recurring (exhibit A)

July 07

every night I dream I'm hurriedly rushing down stairs, 

preoccupied, distracted

suddenly, all my weight is on a step that isn't there

and I realize I'm going to fall, there's nothing I can do

momentum is inevitable

and I fall, 

I fall, 

I fall

helpless to gravity

helpless to these strange new feelings that confuse and frighten me

helpless to her refusal to eat, 

inches of her disappearing every day

helpless to her sunken cheeks, her dead eyes, her stubborn disease.

She won't listen to me

 or she can't hear me, killed and buried by this new frightening person that I don't recognize.

Who are you 

and what have you done to the sweet loving girl 

that I used to know?